“Narcissist Personality Disorder: One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.”
Warning, if you ever find yourself around one who is narcissistic run, run as far away as you can. There is no winning with a narcissistic person and if you don’t agree with everything the narcissist does or says, then I guarantee you, it won’t be long before the narcissist has convinced everyone around you that you are the one that should not be trusted. The narcissist will not win in the end, but the road from the beginning to the end is a long one and the closer that road gets to the end, the narcissist will become desperate and the final stage is the most dangerous.
How do I know, I’ve had the opportunity to work with not one, but two narcissists and I’ve watched the spinning of their web as they entrap everyone in their sticky mess while I was the prey stuck dead in the center of their narcissistic abuse. The abuse is not something you can report or quite put your finger on and it’s not anything you’ve done to deserve the treatment. You just know it’s happening, the energy around you changes, people start to treat you with mistrust and then slowly you are indirectly told that you are not good enough, not good at your job, not important, one to be ignored all the while the narcissist is spinning their web and injecting their venom and like a spider’s bite, it can take a long time to discover the full effect of the narcissist’s bite.
There was a time I carried much anger at these individuals, but not any more. In some ways I owe them gratitude as I’ve learned from within that I am a strong, smart and confident woman. There isn’t a person on earth who hasn’t gained strength through challenges, and dealing with a narcissist offers you many challenges and hurdles to climb only to gain strength with each new height.
The negative effects of dealing with these people, I’ve left far behind as I have a clear view of who my friends are, the kind of person I want to be and the positive contributions I want to give to my community, my family and my friends. I can thank the narcissist for these attributes, because without experiencing the full effects of narcissism, I may not have realized my potential for joy and happiness had they not spun their webs.
Forgiveness is another important factor, because a narcissist always surrounds themselves with enablers, people who are not strong and most likely have low self esteems. Forgiveness is important because holding a grudge, anger, hate or resentment is poison to the soul. In both cases I’ve experienced the work of enablers and a lot of my anger was also generated toward them. However, with much soul-searching, meditation and prayer, I was able to forgive and to forgive is to set your soul free.
The irony of the narcissistic mind, is that the danger that they pose will tear lives and environments apart. Much like a tropical hurricane or a large-scale earthquake will ravish the land and the people who live there. However, like any natural disaster, the strength and resilience of the people will overcome and the same can be said in the destructive path of the narcissist, the people will prevail and in the end, the person who stands to be in the most danger of the narcissist is the narcissist themselves.
Johanne Fraser
The Art of Silence in a Noisy World 